Another Bla Bla Bla. 2010

2010 was just a few days away. Everything move so fast. As we grow, things around us change. Some people notice that, some don't. Things that change, are they good? Or bad? Even if they are good, do we like it?
I hate sudden changes, revolutions... I got shocked. And sometimes they give me a feeling of losing. Losing hopes, losing my dreams, my life, my family, everything i got. Sometimes, when i realize those sudden changes, i reminisce the year, and years that i have lived through. Reminisce makes me smiles, sad and blank. The past were a thing that is so big, we could hardly remember the whole of it. We could forget a friend's birthday party, or an anniversary and remember going into a shop buying a packet of Double-Decker, or falling off your bed in night. Big things are so huge till they're difficult to remember and small things are tiny, not important maybe, but we can't forget them. Lucky enough, this year i got a notebook with a planner. I don't put my plans in the boxes, but everything that happens on that day. Well, i did slipped some dates of public speaking competition, an appointment with a doctor in GH that i missed, and some birthdays...
In January, the boxes were grey, black, blue and some bold lettering.
In February, i paste a bus ticket dated 13 Feb 09. i look up, that day was Friday The 13th. In the 24th, 'Happy Birthday Manpreet' was written in brown. She wrote it herself.
Mac - 15 boxes, from 15 to 21, two green highlighter line that have labels on each box. "Cuti/Holiday".
1st of April was a day that i can't forget. There's 3 colours of highlighters here. Green - "April Fool :(". Pink - "i'm sorry !!" Purple - two underlines for Smart Kids event and the Kuala Lumpur International Book Feast. The book feast was incredible. Went there twice.
May was nothing except for the M.Y.E. [Mid Year Exam]. Oh, my parents went to Mecca to perform their umrah.
June - the trip to Melacca with Pandu Puteri, lose the coral speaking competition and 'Beliau' came in.
Seven is fun and Eight is something.
September ... a week off.
October, ouch !! My eyes hurts!! A flock of colourful colours is here, messing up the month. Mr. Fauzi and the other pract teachers left on the first week. Something terribly lovely happened the next day and the next day after that next day was Tasha's birthday. Exam starts on the 21st and ends on next week's Thursday. On Friday, Nike visited us.
November. School are coming to it's end. Wan's birthday. Activities the school had held, some undeserving victories, some food and a feast. Movies. On 22nd - I wrote, "just another wonderful day about him, with him". Huh, that don't mean anything.
And December. I just 'celebrate' MY birthday yesterday, 22nd. I'm 14. A day before, went to Penang for holiday. It's fine except for the confusing roads and signboards.

Hmm... I'm 14. And the end of next year, i'm 15. I'm wondering, and eagerly wanted to know when is my end? And on what kind of circumstances would i end? I think i just have to leave it to the Almighty, Allah s.w.t.

Of course, i had always dreaming, thinking, arranging of the future. I am very curious to know what it would be like. Is it happy, full of delightness or is it sorrow, with loneliness? I am surrounded with plenty of people that i love and care, but inside i'm alone. Atleast, at home. School was a place that is filled. Occasions, HOMEWORKS, teachers, friends.... I love school. But the school is a place that we aren't free. If we're not satisfied with certain things, we have to tell it to the prefects, that we dislikes. Or write a letter to the headmistress, that posssibly are going to tell the whole school on Monday assembly that the letter regarding so-and-so was sent by "Saw Anne So". And dear "Saw Anne So" have to come up to the stage, facing thousands of sneering faces that on their mind was "who's that chicken that thinks the school was hers?", or maybe "i think she must be transferred from the mental hospital this morning." or possibly "who's the idiot now, the headmistress or that stupid girl ?".

Anyway. How about ending the entry now? I don't have any ideas left for this entry. I hope no one would mind if this entry is completely lunatic and is not understandable.