I FELL... Part 2

Yessss, I'm still falling.
Hope that my feet won't touch the ground.
Hmm, I feel that my falling was not falling anymore, it's more to flying.
Aha, flying....
There's a sound. It must be him.
He must have jump into this ... err hole, to fall and fly with me.
Haaaaa.... dreams does come true sometimes.
But, huh.
I must expect the unexpected. I must see beyond the walls, the clouds and time.
Afraid that something bad unwillingly happen. Afraid that i would touch the ground once again.

I FELL ... Way Far Down.

Someone pushed me.
I fell for that someone.
Ahh ...
[Bloody stupid idiot ... ]
Alamak, i just fell for someone.
And i'm still falling.
My feet are in the air.
Yupp, no grounds ... yet.
Haish, why did i hope to keep on falling?
Erk, i'm mad kowt ...
:)
Haih, that someone ...
Come down and save me lah!
Or maybe, we can fall together?
Hahaha, falling made me smiles, all the time.
Yeah ... i keep smiling to myself since the day i fell was emm, known.

P/S : This crap was written while i was sitting for my History's paper. It's on the back of it.

TODAY

My Ma'e read my blog. I hated it. I hated everyone that can't differ their own rights with others. For them, "Yours are mine, but what's mine remains mine." Oh how i hated those people. But blogs are for public and we cannot write 'so much'. Others that knew us would possibly read and make their own horrible conclusions. I can't blame them for reading this, but please don't make unsensible rumors.
I prefer people to criticize me, infront of me but i can't accept what they were saying behind my back.
My idea of weakness and power may be unique and in the same time, 'weird' for some people for their own reasons. It's okay, they made me felt more unique and special.
Anyway, it's holiday now. And there's nothing i can do except for completing my homeworks and do my revisions. How boring. I hate it when it's holiday and there are things we have already planned to do, but have to cancelled it because of something else we didn't cared about.
It's a one-week hol, and we have to be in school, from 8.30 till 12.30 each day!

I'm exhausted.
I think it's my sleep.
Everyday i would wonder whether i would ever get a quality sleep. A nice sleep.
I'd often get sleepy in class, and the thing that made me stressed out was that i'd only get sleepy when it was Maths. Mrs. Tan was okay, she teach well. There's nothing really wrong with her.

I think i don't have the right, YET to have a nice sleep.

It's frustrating when we know we can't do anything to stop it.

It frustrating me when i know i can't stop the pain.
What pain?
You know...
No, i don't know. What i know is i am suggesting you to see a very very good doctor.
Hey, that's not nice! You just break another small pieces of my heart. I never manage to mend it the time it broke last year!

Yeah, yeah, whatever!
You know what? I gave up. I gave up to you, To ... and to them !!!
To me?
Yes, you!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

What's The Damn Cool Bout My Blog?

I'm Lonely.
I Feel Dumb.
No Comments Please...

F***. I'm feeling silly and stupid.

Questions, Tears and Puppets. Chapter 2.

Huh...

Is there anything that could possibly distract me from everything? Just anything from everything.

My dearest wish - as i stated yesterday - was not to hurt 'Beliau' so much.

Huh...

.....

I think there might be some misunderstanding regarding the use of "Beliau" and "Dia". "Beliau" is always the same person. And "Beliau" is someone aged under 18 !! Don't you dare think that you knew this person. "Dia" is actually someone random.

.....

How i missed "Beliau". I would usually focused on the face, detecting any slightest hints of ... missing me.

Huh...

Missing the good old days.

Huh...

Still in a bad condition.

I really want to know how "Beliau" can survived? Why am i still here, standing doing nothing? Wow, didn't realize that time changes almost everything! Why and how did "Beliau" recovered so fast ?????

Please, i just want to talk to u, share everything with u, face u with all the strenght i have and say i miss u. Please.

Questions, Tears and Puppets. Chapter 1

Whoa. Never knew i would write about this again. Am amazingly suprised when a friend told me that 'dia' read my blog. Huh. That means this is not a personal blog anymore. Dowh...

.....

Do agree with these.

"How can i move on, when i'm still in love with u"
"Everything will change, But love remain the same"

This.

"I want u to know, u couldn't have loved me better,
I want u to move on, and so i'm already gone... "

And also this.

"I wish i could tell u i'm feeling better everyday,
that i didn't hurted when u walked away.
But to tell u the truth, I can't find my way"

Conclude that.

Arghhhhh! Never thought it would be a tough year. I never really did care bout that stupid exam. I just thought that maybe this year, Kak Aleen would be in the school for her first year in secondary, and i would get distracted, even just for a while.

What i want most was not to hurt 'Beliau' and in return, hurt myself so badly. How foolish. How can 'dia' stand to watch me from faraway when i can't? 'Dia' give reactions that i didn't dare to expect and it turned out to be some kind of an 'everyday expressions'. What the hell was that?

Please, i've been hoping for too long. End this hopeless waiting. I am determined to leave. I can't stand bearing the pain piercing. Can't let the tears holding back for so long. How many years do i have to wait until the right shoulder shows up? I must move on.

But how?

Yes, but how?

Run.

That's the best way. That's the solution that everyone's been using, and found nothing in the end but tears missing the past.