Missing you in Action

Haih, if i quit, i will definitely miss you.. But they left me no choice, and i'm certainly can't go with you as i am a stupid shy girl. But i'd sworn not to fail this year, i wanted to put myself as high as you, i wanna be someone well deserved to be right next to you. I want you to see what i'm possible to do, what i can be and what i can do if i wanted to. I hate to think that you don't deserve me. I promise i'll be, and i promise you will be proud of me. I want to share the victory with you later.

You know, i treasure all the serendipity u made real for me. MAYBE u've tried to make it real for you, and in the same time, making a sweet, short, unforgettable memoeries for me. I remember my friends told me that u knew i have a crush on u. U were looking for me, finding me in my class, trying to know who i am. I really hoped i didn't failed u.

Then, we started to have classes together. Not every week, but we 'see' each other every week. I'm stupid. I don't know that u knew what i felt towards u, so when u're trying to communicate, I'm blank all over. I know that there were chances for me to get to know u, but i'm willingly slipping it away. Until now, i could never talk, see, look or do any type of normal communications with you. sorry... For a number of times, u will seat infront of me. U even offered me some fries u bought at McD. I think i did thanked u... When there's a little break, a gap where the teachers wants to take some time, u would turned around, not competely facing me, but enough to see me. Tasha teased us bout something, and i don't know what to react. U were laughing and i know that u want me to support u, laugh with u or whatever, but i just stared into my papers. I know,i know that u were a little bit disappointed, and i know that u're making conclusions. U see me as a shy girl who cannot keep her feelings well.

After that, we didn't see each other much as T and Ad have had an invicible fight. (I think Ad likes her,but he got this enormous ego that prevents him from confessing) Once, u opened the door for me. I remember this one day, a day after my debate, Ad saw me goin out the class. I noticed that he told u sth, that made u look at me. U waited for me, so that we could walk down the stair together. Thanks, Ad. But, as soon as we reached the door, a friend pulled me and said that we were late. I caught the disappointment in your face.

It's mid-term, and all my friends are quitin. My mum won't let me. How cud i refused to that? If i quit like them, how cud i ever see u again? Therefore, i stay. I was left alone.

Then, got this one day. U were drinking sth. U put it on top of ur table, and goes out of the class. I went out, to buy sth. U were sitting on a bench outside the class. I went in back again, and i know that i don't crash into anything. Then u came in. Ur water or whatever, it was on the floor, spilled out. U asked me whether i know who did it. Of course i don't, i'm too arrogant to know what's happening around me. I can guess that that changed your mood. Something happened, and u decided to sit besides me. Of course, an empty seat in between. Slowly, we began to talk (well, mostly it's just you). Did i lighted u up? If i did, i just wanna let u know that i'm willing to do that forever. The next class, i was a bit late. Since i was one of the earliest people to arrive, my lateness was still considered as early. Someone sat on my place. I have to sit in this row where the air-conditioner affects the people sitting there the most. I squeezed in the end of the row where the air-conditioner was a little further. Then, came in the class. two annoying girls, ur friends came in and sit at the front of the class. The row besides them was empty, so when u, Ad, Joshua and the others came in, all of u are expected to fill in the seats. U came in last, and the seats are filled. I was alone, and u sit besides me. As usual, an empty seat in between. which means, u are right below the air-conditioner. The two annoying girls wants u to sit with them, but u refused. While the teacher is teaching, i'm wondering whether u can stand the coldness. I am cold too, but u are right under the air-conditioner. I'm feeling sorry for u.This day was the day that i treasure the most. I have a sore throat that day, and i cannot speak. I am living that moment with u. How about u? Don't u too? Then, at recess, Ad decided to sit with u. Which means us. Which means, there will be no empty seat between us. Maybe u noticed that i am uncomfortable sitting really close to u, u moved ur chair so there is no way our chair could touch. But somehow, i noticed u slowly moved ur chair close to me. At one point, (this part, i didn't tell my friends) ur hand touched mine while giving me the questions. We both paused for a second, and move on. I kept still. Then, ur shoes somehow, touched mine. I kept still. I don't know what to do. That was my most unforgettable memory of u.

The next week, u took the other class. I was down. The second class, we have to exchange rooms. Urs to mine, and mine to urs. U let everyone in first, so that when i got out, we could meet. Ezlin tells me that was sweet. Haha, and u are even willing to take ur friends bags to get in our class. When i asked u bout Daniel, u look straight into my eyes.

Hey, u made me happy. Thanks.