I FELL... Something Stupid.

If we fly, do we fall first? Do we have to fall, or we just fly straight away?
In my situation, I fell first. I spotted something, trampled and tumbled down. The bloody thing that made me was something undoubtly beautiful, and fascinating. How bloody can that be?

I was caught by the idea that i fell, heart first, onto the ground. But instead of lying on the ground, I ended up flying in the air. No, floating i guess.

Do you move?
Yea...
Then you're definitely flying.
Oh, ok.

Anyway, let's us talk about the fascinating thing that made me fell.
Let's us give it a name. "The Thing".

So... It was BEAUTIFUL ! Maybe not to others but hey! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Somehow I feel relieved that nobody else see it the way I did. And that feelings made me feel that i was actually owned it. But no, I didn't. And I realised, along long time ago, that I would never ever owned it. It would never happened.

"The Thing" would made me excited, happy, sad, thrilled nad afraid, jumbled up together, making me nauseous. I'm always looking forward to see and stare and "The Thing". Looking at it gave me hope and made me smile in an oddly kind of way.

Today was the day that i will ... ermn, see it. And i was writing this cause i don't know in what ways could i express this weird feeling of mine other than flushing it out onto some pieces of paper. I find it kinda interesting. "The Thing", interesting... I would very much like to explore it, knowing all those complicated feelings inside it, experiencing it myself, and to make it that everuthing is safe. To make me feel safe, as well.

Why? Did you feel not safe all the time?
No, it's just that...
What? You can't know it's feeling if yours too are helplessly complicated.
.... It's just a damn metaphor!
Eh, arn't you suppose to talk bout falling and flying and whatever stupid thing it was?
SHUT UP !

I hated some people that dislikes "The Thing". It was as if they didn't appreciate the masterpiece if nature.

Deyh, you're baffling.

I just wanna state that,
I fell for "The Thing", and I ddn't touch the ground, yet. (Which was something good)
Guess in the end, I fly.
I fly.

I FELL... Part 3

In one day, i managed to post something about a same thing twice, differently.
Guess what? I'm still in the air.
No touching the ground, thank God.
Things happens, and i'm glad for it to happened.
I happened to be a part-time diary of a friend last year, and i've been with her almost all the time.
We shared a lot - well we refers to her - and it's kinda interesting.
I help her cope with some difficulties and listen to her chatters everyday, and she kind of opening a window to me.
She would tell me her dreams that this would be like this when that and that happens, the perfect timing for each of her dreams to come true.
At first, i know it was possible but they're too simple, that made me think it won't be happening to her.
Slowly, things happen though not accordingly and not all of her dreams come true.
I ended up admiring her courage and wit.
I was damn jealous of her for that.
And now, i used the same thing.
Yo, i'm falling and flying dude!
So i started with hoping for small stuff, gestures, smiles and eye contacts.

I FELL... Part 2

Yessss, I'm still falling.
Hope that my feet won't touch the ground.
Hmm, I feel that my falling was not falling anymore, it's more to flying.
Aha, flying....
There's a sound. It must be him.
He must have jump into this ... err hole, to fall and fly with me.
Haaaaa.... dreams does come true sometimes.
But, huh.
I must expect the unexpected. I must see beyond the walls, the clouds and time.
Afraid that something bad unwillingly happen. Afraid that i would touch the ground once again.

I FELL ... Way Far Down.

Someone pushed me.
I fell for that someone.
Ahh ...
[Bloody stupid idiot ... ]
Alamak, i just fell for someone.
And i'm still falling.
My feet are in the air.
Yupp, no grounds ... yet.
Haish, why did i hope to keep on falling?
Erk, i'm mad kowt ...
:)
Haih, that someone ...
Come down and save me lah!
Or maybe, we can fall together?
Hahaha, falling made me smiles, all the time.
Yeah ... i keep smiling to myself since the day i fell was emm, known.

P/S : This crap was written while i was sitting for my History's paper. It's on the back of it.

TODAY

My Ma'e read my blog. I hated it. I hated everyone that can't differ their own rights with others. For them, "Yours are mine, but what's mine remains mine." Oh how i hated those people. But blogs are for public and we cannot write 'so much'. Others that knew us would possibly read and make their own horrible conclusions. I can't blame them for reading this, but please don't make unsensible rumors.
I prefer people to criticize me, infront of me but i can't accept what they were saying behind my back.
My idea of weakness and power may be unique and in the same time, 'weird' for some people for their own reasons. It's okay, they made me felt more unique and special.
Anyway, it's holiday now. And there's nothing i can do except for completing my homeworks and do my revisions. How boring. I hate it when it's holiday and there are things we have already planned to do, but have to cancelled it because of something else we didn't cared about.
It's a one-week hol, and we have to be in school, from 8.30 till 12.30 each day!

I'm exhausted.
I think it's my sleep.
Everyday i would wonder whether i would ever get a quality sleep. A nice sleep.
I'd often get sleepy in class, and the thing that made me stressed out was that i'd only get sleepy when it was Maths. Mrs. Tan was okay, she teach well. There's nothing really wrong with her.

I think i don't have the right, YET to have a nice sleep.

It's frustrating when we know we can't do anything to stop it.

It frustrating me when i know i can't stop the pain.
What pain?
You know...
No, i don't know. What i know is i am suggesting you to see a very very good doctor.
Hey, that's not nice! You just break another small pieces of my heart. I never manage to mend it the time it broke last year!

Yeah, yeah, whatever!
You know what? I gave up. I gave up to you, To ... and to them !!!
To me?
Yes, you!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

What's The Damn Cool Bout My Blog?

I'm Lonely.
I Feel Dumb.
No Comments Please...

F***. I'm feeling silly and stupid.