Transformasi Awal Tahun.

Aduhai, penatnya... Kenapa balik pukul 2:15? Sungguh tak bertimbang rasa lah.. Dah lah tu, mana ada bas yang boleh ambik kitorang? Terpaksalah naik RapidKL yang 'rapid' gila-gila tu. Ramai lak tu. Bayangkan, hampir satu sekolah memenuhi bawah jambatan ke bangunan DayaBumi, then cross Sg. Klang untuk naik bas. Not to mention yang membanjiri Central Market, balik sekolah melencong. Apa kes lah...

My second day as a 2010 PMR candidates memang menyeramkan. Cikgu-cikgu kitorang cool-cool belaka semuanya. No problemo, except for this one - Pn. Zaidah. Pn. ni ajar kitorang Bahasa Melayu. Agaknye dah puas main-main ngan Cik Seri yang lemah lembut, this year diorang pakat nak bagi kitorang rimau besar punye to teach teach us BM. Kelas dia on the last period. Before her class was En. Sabri's. So kiranya kitorang dalam mood yang okay-okay lah. Alkisahnya, Pn. Zaidah ni pun masuklah. Maka, kitorang bangunlah. Dia punye tenung kat kelas.... bukannya kotor pun. Dah bagi salam, dah duduk. Dia tengok kat buku kawalan kelas, "siapa Siti ... ?" 'Ah, sudah. Apa dia nak buat ngan aku?'. Terketar-ketar tangon ini mengangkat tangan. "Bangun". "Beritahu saya, 'Penggolongan Kata ada berapa?". 'Kata Adjektif, Kata Nama, Kata Pasif... Kata-Kata....' "Saya ni salah masuk kelas ke? Sayyidah Aqilah!" "tak tahu....." Muka dia tegang siot.. "Tak tahu? Awak ni Ketua Pelajar kan?" Pastu dia attack Brintha lak. Terkulat-kulat la Brintha. Fuh, terer gile cikgu nih dowh... Masuk-masuk, tak introduce hape, terus attack kitorang.

Cabaran dan dugaan....

Another Bla Bla Bla. 2010

2010 was just a few days away. Everything move so fast. As we grow, things around us change. Some people notice that, some don't. Things that change, are they good? Or bad? Even if they are good, do we like it?
I hate sudden changes, revolutions... I got shocked. And sometimes they give me a feeling of losing. Losing hopes, losing my dreams, my life, my family, everything i got. Sometimes, when i realize those sudden changes, i reminisce the year, and years that i have lived through. Reminisce makes me smiles, sad and blank. The past were a thing that is so big, we could hardly remember the whole of it. We could forget a friend's birthday party, or an anniversary and remember going into a shop buying a packet of Double-Decker, or falling off your bed in night. Big things are so huge till they're difficult to remember and small things are tiny, not important maybe, but we can't forget them. Lucky enough, this year i got a notebook with a planner. I don't put my plans in the boxes, but everything that happens on that day. Well, i did slipped some dates of public speaking competition, an appointment with a doctor in GH that i missed, and some birthdays...
In January, the boxes were grey, black, blue and some bold lettering.
In February, i paste a bus ticket dated 13 Feb 09. i look up, that day was Friday The 13th. In the 24th, 'Happy Birthday Manpreet' was written in brown. She wrote it herself.
Mac - 15 boxes, from 15 to 21, two green highlighter line that have labels on each box. "Cuti/Holiday".
1st of April was a day that i can't forget. There's 3 colours of highlighters here. Green - "April Fool :(". Pink - "i'm sorry !!" Purple - two underlines for Smart Kids event and the Kuala Lumpur International Book Feast. The book feast was incredible. Went there twice.
May was nothing except for the M.Y.E. [Mid Year Exam]. Oh, my parents went to Mecca to perform their umrah.
June - the trip to Melacca with Pandu Puteri, lose the coral speaking competition and 'Beliau' came in.
Seven is fun and Eight is something.
September ... a week off.
October, ouch !! My eyes hurts!! A flock of colourful colours is here, messing up the month. Mr. Fauzi and the other pract teachers left on the first week. Something terribly lovely happened the next day and the next day after that next day was Tasha's birthday. Exam starts on the 21st and ends on next week's Thursday. On Friday, Nike visited us.
November. School are coming to it's end. Wan's birthday. Activities the school had held, some undeserving victories, some food and a feast. Movies. On 22nd - I wrote, "just another wonderful day about him, with him". Huh, that don't mean anything.
And December. I just 'celebrate' MY birthday yesterday, 22nd. I'm 14. A day before, went to Penang for holiday. It's fine except for the confusing roads and signboards.

Hmm... I'm 14. And the end of next year, i'm 15. I'm wondering, and eagerly wanted to know when is my end? And on what kind of circumstances would i end? I think i just have to leave it to the Almighty, Allah s.w.t.

Of course, i had always dreaming, thinking, arranging of the future. I am very curious to know what it would be like. Is it happy, full of delightness or is it sorrow, with loneliness? I am surrounded with plenty of people that i love and care, but inside i'm alone. Atleast, at home. School was a place that is filled. Occasions, HOMEWORKS, teachers, friends.... I love school. But the school is a place that we aren't free. If we're not satisfied with certain things, we have to tell it to the prefects, that we dislikes. Or write a letter to the headmistress, that posssibly are going to tell the whole school on Monday assembly that the letter regarding so-and-so was sent by "Saw Anne So". And dear "Saw Anne So" have to come up to the stage, facing thousands of sneering faces that on their mind was "who's that chicken that thinks the school was hers?", or maybe "i think she must be transferred from the mental hospital this morning." or possibly "who's the idiot now, the headmistress or that stupid girl ?".

Anyway. How about ending the entry now? I don't have any ideas left for this entry. I hope no one would mind if this entry is completely lunatic and is not understandable.

I Don't Know What To Say.

Ingat tak entry lepas yang aku citer pasal My Family Day 2009? Well, masa tengah mengepos entry tu, masa aku tersangatlah terhad. So aku tak dapat nak citer banyak-banyak pasal "the family day". Aku just nak mark sini yang

"aku dah buat satu discovery yang awesomely hurting".

"How does an awesome discovery hurt you?"

Well, it's like this. Orang selalu cakap yang 'truth hurts, and lies worse' [erm, that's a line from broken string by james morrison ft. nelly furtado]. People, percayalah... You can't run away from the facts. Yes, it hurts. But you have to face it and bear the pains. You'll learn. You'll remember. You'll forget. And so do i. I've learnt. Of course, i do remember. But i won't forget. The pain and the crush so hurting you bleed in the inside. Haha, sorry. I don't cry. In public.

So, nampak apa-apa tak? No? Of course tak... Aku tak citer apa-apa pun. Ejad is a close relative, and his family didn't join us for that day 'cause he was in Bali, Indonesia. On the night that we had our BBQ dinner, a fucking cousin blurt out the facts. Right when i was swallowing my delicious BBQ chicken. Infront of my Ma'e !!! Her words would never ease my heart. She doesn't really understands me. I won't let her.
And the facts that hurts.
Wanna know what the fact is?
Hmm, let just say it got something to do with Ejad.

* * * * *

I felt something extremely different when i hear this song. Especially from the Hitz. Tv, Soulfood.

Part of The List by Ne-Yo.

Style of your hair,

Shape of your eyes and your nose,

The way that you stare,

As if you,

See right through to my soul.

It's your left hand,

And the way,

That it's quite big as your right,

And the way you stand, in the mirror,

Before we go out at night.

Our quiet time,

Your beautiful mind.

C/O: There're all part of the list,

Things that i missed,

Things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile,

Or the way we kiss...

What i notice is this,

I come up with,

Something new every single time,

That i sit and reminisce.

The way your sweet smell,

Lingers when you leave the room,

Stories you tell, as we lay,

In bed all afternoon.

I dream you now,

Every night,

In mind is where we meet,

And when i'm awake,

I'm staring at the pictures of you asleep.

Touching your face,

Invading your space.

Repeat C/O.

And you live in my memories,

Forever more i swear...

And You live in my memories,

Forever more i swear...

Repeat C/O

Oh, Oh, Oh.

Oh, Oh, Oh.

The video of it that i've watched on tv was something deep... I really liked that song, before i figured out what it probably meant to me. To me, the girl love him. They loved each other. But the girl seems to be hiding the affair from everyone's acknowledgement and she, then, end up cheating him. Well, that's the word that i could think of--cheat. She got a fiance. After the farewell.

A NOT SO LONELY DAY...

Feeling rather ill. My ENT probs again. Yesterday, like usual, went to the hospital with my mum for my gramp's appointment. From 9 a.m. to 5.15 p.m. in the Oftalmology Clinic. Their management SUCKS!!! Even in the Surgery Clinic. I know there's hundreds of patients patiently waiting, but you can make it easier for us both if you can manage your computerization system carefully and not to lose some folders!!!
Since my mum was extremely exhausted, and the Secret Recipe was just around the corner, in the building, we just have our 'lunch' and 'tea' there. Cakes and iced lemon tea for 'lunch' and cakes and whipped iced chocolate for 'tea'.

And today, my mum, my aunts, my gran, my sisters and 'their' cousins went to One Utama... I want to go too! I won't fit in the car... 1+2+1+2+3= 9. Proton Waja. Imagine that...

Last week : our 2009 family day. In A' Famosa, Melaka. Great and fun. Gramp's an amputee. Won't and can't move much. Wheelchaired. And so, my Pak Long Baha and Mak Long Nora gave gran a beautiful Bonia watch. Me and my Blue team won every game they had held. Muahahahaha!!! Sorry, the so-called-Devils, maybe next year i won't come.

P/S: i just can't wait for the holiday to end. But i'm not really sure if i'm ready for PMR. Wish me a really really good luck, guys...

Jobs di sekeliling aku.

Sedang menonton Kampung Boy, di saluran Astro Ceria 611. Perlukah ada manusia berjalan seperti zombie, dan digambarkan sebgai duit berjalan? :P

Baru balik dari Menara Hap Seng, Jalan P. Ramlee. Mak Ngah nak ambik barang-barang ofis. Aku, Mak Ngah, Ibu, Alia ngan Aidan lunch kat bangunan sebelah yang aku tak tahu namanya. Sape-sape yang tahu, bolehlah bagitahu. Kalau tak silap, shopping complex. Packed dengan manusia-manusia yang nak melepak tunggu lunch hour habis. Well, bukanlah melepak - memandang kan manusia yang bekerja kat ofis ni 'bagus-bagus' orangnya. Manusia yang bekerja daily '7 to 5' tu tahulah rutin harian diorang. Yang aku tahu, selalunya company diorang just about nak dapat tender, gi site, lunch sambil talking business, pepagi trapped dalam traffic jam. Yang 'lunch sambil talking business' tu, tak paham-paham lagi ke? BUSI-NESS. Korang belajar tinggi sampai langit ketujuh sana nun pun tak paham ke?
Lepas berhempas pulas berlumba sape type paling laju di bawah angin bayu sang air-cond (air-cond ada chlorofluorocarbons, yang menipiskan lapisan ozon), manusia-manusia ni race pulak ke food court berdekatan untuk makan tengahari. Kalau ada lagi masa, memborong. Mak Ngah selalunya 'attack area' dia kat Sogo. Sama ada naik 'cab' ataupun jalan kaki - wahh, power giler diorang ni (disebabkan banyak sangat 'exercise', dan jugak bantuan 'Teh Orang Kampung', pinggangnya sebesar cengkaman aku). Kengkadang Mak Ngah gi masa 'office hour' dah habis. Balik, cakap lah kat anak-anak dia yang 'spastik' tu, "Mama ada beli Twisties, Chi-gedix, Double Deckers, jajan, bla-bla-bla...." Kitorang 3 beradik diam je lah tengok tv.
My mum lak, hmmm, nak kata bekerja, takde lah nampak cam bekerja. Tapi duit masuk tiap-tiap bulan. Direct selling. Dia ngan papa jumpa orang every week, pergi attend business presentation. Hari tu, diorang menang lucky draw, dapat Perodua Viva. Tapi ibu pikir, takyah lah. Nak bayar 'roadtax' lagi,kang tu mati, ni mati... Haru. Plus, papa sayang Waja kuning dia tu. Bersalutkan sticker M.U. merata. Setia pada yang satu.
Mak Ucu, kerja kat HP. Satu bangunan ngan tempat kerja lama ibu dulu. Advertising. TBWA. Hahaha, teringat satu kisah yang ibu jaja kat kitorang satu family.
Ibu nak quit, and it was her last day. Oleh itu, staff-staff kat situ yang kebanyakannya wanita men'derma'kanlah hugs and kisses diorang. Sampailah kat General Manager dia, Ibu stop and say, "Sorry, but i don't hug hypocrite people". Muahahaha. Masa dia cerita, "takdelah, dia yang gulingkan aku, nak hug-hug aku plak. Lantak akulah nak cakap apa pun, last day aku." Bravo!
Ayah, tergolong dalam profesion yang aku tak berapa nak berkenan. He's a steward. MAS. Tak nak cakap banyak. :P
Papa lak, a bodyguard. Job yang bukan hari-hari kita boleh jumpa. Ada satu 'bonjol' kat belakang, dipercayai bullet terperangkap kat dalam. Puhh, lebar-lebor! Tapi beruntung la gak dapat bodyguard.....
And for myself, aku akan belajar balik kat sekolah rendah kalau aku dapat offer kerja kat office. Atleast bagi Math Teacher pun jadilah. Asalkan aku tak perlulah jumpa orang cakap pasal profit, tender, marketing tiap-tiap kali mulutnya terbuka. Kalau kau nak tanya aku waktu kerja habis ke, Detective Conan yang latest pe citer, boleh. Yang lain, depends lah.

it's holiday

yuppppp,it's holiday. And i'm stuck in the middle of a hurricane, big one. This morning my bed started to shake, and noises came from the door. Someone is knocking, banging, actually. And that was when the hurricane started. 6 annoying kids aged from 10 to 1 are in the house, trying real hard to annoy me. Congratulations kids. You just done it.

WHY, WHY, WHY ???
How could this happen to me, .....

Argh, this hurricane is bothering and irritating. A small one is twirling beside me, being an as***le. Hope i can go back to yesterday, hahahahaha. I called 'dia'. Thrice! And it went well, and then 'dia' say something. He's sweet. :)

And erm, i called the other 'dia'. Huh. She doesn't know who i am. Well, it's the number. And this is for her. And, erm, the last part of this song means nothing. That's just for couples. And (it's the last 'and') we're not.

Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams.
Still feels like our first night together,
Feels like the first kiss, it's gettin' better baby
No one can better this.
Still holdin' on, you're still the one
First time our eyes met, same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger, wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on...
Chorus:So if you're feelin' lonely don't
You're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good,
So if I love ya a little more than I should,
Please forgive me, I know not what I do.
Please forgive me, I can't stop lovin' you.
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through.
Please forgive me, if I need ya like I do.
Oh believe me, every word I say is true.
Please forgive me, i cant stop loving you.

Still feels like our best times are together.
Feels like our first touch, still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough.
Still holdin' on, still number one
I remember the smell of your skin.
I remember everything.
I remember all your moves
I remember you, yeah!
I remember the nights ya know I still do.
Chorus..
One thing I'm sure of, is the way we make love.
And one thing I depend on, is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'.
chorus
Never leave me I don't know what I'd do.
Please forgime me, i cant stop lovin you
Cant stop lovin you..

......
Tengah cari summer camp for myself and my friends.

The Melodramatic of Our Last Day.

Uncle hampir tak hantar aku balik sebab ingatkan aku takde dalam bas. Fuhh...
Hari ni paper Geo, Sejarah, Kemahiran Hidup dan Pendidikan Islam. Tak tahu nak kata apa. Satu kelas meniru. Yang pasti bukan kelas kitorang je, pasti kelas lain meniru gak.
Last day yang melodramatik.